Ladies DON'T do this on your #Tinderprofile
I notice several things when I look through the #Tinder profiles of women... and none of this is meant to be insulting... there's no hate behind it. Ladies... I love ya... It's just my impressions from reacting positively or negatively to thousands of profiles.
The older the girl is... the fewer pictures she has posted and the worse the quality of the picture.
Ladies... yes... you may be able to post one single picture and still get matches but it's going to be a lower quality group of guys... you know the ones.
So what is a poor quality picture?
A picture that is blurry, grainy, doesn't show your face, a picture taken from far away, a picture of you i
n a group, in a helmet or ski mask, or a picture that has beauty filters applied to it. Just don't do the beauty filters... it SCREAMS "I am insecure about aging and trying to hide it from you"! Or no pictures of yourself at all!
WTF ladies... Do you think you're gonna get matches when you put a picture of a cow, motorcycle handlebars, and a lake with boats up for your profile?
No bio... fine... ok... but no pictures of yourself... that gets an automatic left swipe.
I know you don't want to reveal too much about yourselves... cuz some men are creepy, or for work or family related reasons, or you don't want people to know you are online dating, or you are having an affair... (sunglasses or hidden face in every picture... cummon ladies... I know what you're doing!) but you have to post something that is going to show your face and body clearly.
The younger girls have the older girls beat in this category... generally... not because they have fewer wrinkles... although that sometimes helps... but because they post better quality pictures.
That's what they spent their teenage years doing... getting better at taking pictures of themselves.
They sometimes spend hours getting the perfect picture... doing their hair and makeup, outfit changes, different angles, different lighting, different filters, cropping, editing, and generally making it the best it can be.
And I know that you don't have the time to do that... you are busy and have the life and career that the younger girls don't have yet... but I would strongly urge you to put more time into creating better quality pictures.
Like it or not... you are in a competition. Yes... Men need to figure this out too.
Sorry ladies... but men ARE looking to see what your body looks like. They can't help themselves. That's how nature programmed them so don't fight it.
It's the same way that you were programmed to be attracted to #confidence... Yes... some #men don't care but the majority do... but that doesn't mean that ALL men are looking for a barbie doll figure.
You can't predict what a man is attracted to by looking at him... and I can't predict which women are going to be attracted to me just by looking at them.
All you can do is present yourself. Some men will like what you have to offer and others won't.
So perhaps you're carrying a few extra pounds... Well... that's the results of the choices you've made over the years in regards to the food you've chosen to eat and the amount of exercise versus leisure time you spend.
When you ONLY have headshots in your profile... men sense what you are hiding and that you are embarrassed by it.
You may as well own it and show it.
You'll be found out at some point anyway when you go to meet someone... and that could be an embarrassing scene!
One of the most disappointing matching experiences for me is to match with someone and to be attracted to her physically (based on her pictures) AND spend the time to get to know her emotionally over the phone... and then meet in person and find out that her pictures were from 40 pounds lighter.
And yes... I know that men do it too... don't be that guy! 😅
Ladies... Stop filling your profile with pictures of you ONLY on your bicycle wearing a helmet and sunglasses and no makeup! Great... you're athletic... is that all there is too you? If it is then you need to get a life!
Have a variety of pictures... different types of clothes... some dressy, some casual. Have a variety of activities or situations displayed. DON'T make every picture a group picture... especially if you sort of look like your friends. The majority of your pictures should be just you. If you are going to put a group picture up... blur their faces so that it's clear to anyone who you are.
You might love your friends... but if they aren't attractive... don't put them in your profile.
Attractive women have attractive friends and they aren't so catty... they don't have to be because they get more attention than they can handle already! When you're already drowning... the last thing you need is more water! Get what I'm saying?
DON'T PUT PICTURES OF YOUR KIDS... OR ANY KIDS IN YOUR PROFILE
You can write in your profile that you have kids... but don't put them in the pictures!
Dog pictures, food pictures, text based pictures and travel pictures...
I see so many profiles of women who have one single blurry picture of themselves and 7 or 8 pictures of their dog, or food (WTF???!!! Really?! Are you a reporter for the Food Network?) Do you think that posting a bunch of pictures of what you ate and nothing of you is gonna get you matches? Or every picture is of quotes you screenshotted, or you have travel pictures of things you saw... but aren't even in.
Stop it IMMEDIATELY
Negativity in your bio... get rid of it! Yes... I know... men suck and you are tired of them being weird and asking to have a three way. You can't change them... you aren't influential enough... neither am I... but negativity in your bio... yaaaa... you have control over that and it just looks like you are a bitter jaded old woman... so don't do it!
Can I let you in on a little secret... the most physically attractive girls are NOT doing this. They are not being negative in their profiles! This is the absolute truth. I ONLY see it in the profiles of the less attractive, and mostly older girls.
I get it... you've been hurt and betrayed and lied to and generally had the confidence beaten out of you by life... and men and you're bitter and want to prevent it from happening in the future so you write it in your profile.
You don't avoid it by writing it there... you avoid it by attracting a higher quality of person and getting better at eliminating the bad ones FAST!
Why do older guys like younger women?
Because they aren't bitter and angry and have fewer kids! Younger women are usually more up to date with the current styles, they have better hair and makeup. They have better fitting clothes. They generally spend more time exercising. They haven't been beaten down by life, they smile more, they laugh more, they take more pride in their appearance... they are generally happier.
I'm not cutting the older girls down... and I'm not 100% pro youth... but if you are going to compete for a man's attention (and I'm not saying you should... just be aware that you are in a competition) you have to know the rules and play the game better than your competitors.
What do the older girls have going for them?
Generally I find that the older girls have more interesting life experiences. They are usually better at conversation because they've had more time to figure it out. They're way better in bed! The younger girls cannot compete in this category at all! The older girls are usually better at flirting. They sometimes have more financial resources available for travel. They are usually better at relating to men.
I've been out with lots of older girls and I've been out with younger girls... and I love them all! Just be aware of where your strengths lie!
Hair and Makeup
If you are older... ESPECIALLY if you are older... but this also applies to the younger girls too... get a good haircut and perhaps consult a professional makeup artist.
I realize that you may like what you do with your hair and makeup but it may say the wrong things about you.
If the style you have now is the same style that was in 30 years ago... it's time to update it! Even if it's the same style from 5 years ago... you need to update! If you look like you got your last haircut in prison... time to find a new stylist!
I have been fortunate over the years to have a stylist who is absolutely incredible! She is up on the styles and trends and all I do is sit down in the chair and she does what she wants and I walk out ALWAYS getting complimented on my hair.
Yes... I know it's different for a man than a woman. But you HAVE TO find a good stylist. You just have to! DO NOT pick your stylist based on how cheap they are... or if they are your girlfriend or sister.
If you want a higher quality man... you have to look like you fit into his life. And if you are still wearing a thin ring of blue eyeliner around your eyes... like you did back in 1988... you don't even have a chance!
I'll save talking about clothing for another time but I hope you get what I'm saying!
If it isn't working... don't keep doing it!
Ladies... I love ya and want to see you happy! There is nothing more beautiful in the world than a happy woman!